2024 Sycophant Draft
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November 22, 2024
licking ketchup off the ring to get a seat at the table
Category: Politics
In America, voting third party is a personality problem
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November 5, 2024
activating every neuron in the prefrontal cortex to shoot yourself in the foot
Noem, or Dead Pets
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May 5, 2024
taking a pink camouflage bazooka to all the animals who ever loved me
Bordergore
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February 12, 2024
if this country receives one more immigrant from a place i’m scared of i’ll leave and start my own
Minnesota: Legal Marijuana Passes 48th Consecutive House Committee
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April 5, 2023
if they’re lucky, minnesotans could be living the “high life” as early as 2035
The Ballistics of Broken Brains
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June 5, 2022
ok. let’s talk about mental health.
Let’s Stop Talking About the “My Pillow” Guy
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August 16, 2021
It’s time to put this one to bed.
It’s Juneteenth. Who’s unhappy?
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June 19, 2021
Looking into the arguments of the 14 congressmen who voted against the holiday.
South Dakota’s Valiant Defense of Middle School Sports
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March 25, 2021
Imagine unironically being Kristi Noem.
The Worst President in U.S. History
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January 10, 2021
Traditionally, the worst presidents of the United States were those who did nothing to stop the civil war. This President tried to start one.